First Day of School

Fairtex Muay Thai Camp, Bangkok

So first a little background, Muay Thai (Thai boxing) is an ancient art of self defense practised by Thai soldiers which has evolved into a modern sport, which is by far the most popular sport in the country here and is practiced in various forms around the world.  Muay Thai, unlike Chuck Norris/Jackie Chan/Bruce Lee stuff like  Karate, Judo, Kung Fu, etc, has remained a functional sport for hundreds of years, and it does not have a defining credo/philosophy/mr. miyagi aside from the same general buddhist tendencies and rituals that pretty much shadow all life in thailand.  It's also very brutal, because pretty much anything goes - kicks, knees, elbows, throws, I think the only thing you can't do is hit to the groin, and that's about it.

How I got wrapped up in this is as follows: badly in need of some after work stress relief, one day back in January 2004 I walked into Kru Phil Nurse's gym on Howard street in lower Manhattan.  It was exhausting, grueling stuff.  But I liked it, so I went back 2-3 nights a week for about the following year up until I left.  I enjoyed a lot of it, save for the fact that Phil could never rememeber my name, which kind of sucked. So, long story short and on my quest for further adventure, I signed up for a two week stint of the same here in Thailand at the world famous Fairtex camp.

Needless to say, the training at the Fairtex Camp is a little bit more serious than that at a 3rd floor loft in Soho.  it's kind of just me, a bunch of big, muscular farangs with tatoos who are pro fighters, and a bunch of thais who are also pros, having been in hundreds of fights each, some of whom are legends in the sport.  It's sort of like going to an Advanced Non-Linear Dynamics seminar after having only taken Algebra 1 and getting a C in it.  The scariest part, much scarier than a kick to the head for me, is trying to fit in with all these folks as a weekend duffer.

 

I figured the experience would be sort of like boot camp after the last few weeks of epicurean living, and the published schedule (hour of running, 3 hours of training, lunch, 3 hours of rest, repeat, dinner) looks horrendously grueling,  but when nobody woke me up on the first morning i was a little confused.  Turns out that like everything in Thailand, it's fairly low key, do your own thing.  So that was a bit more intimidating in a sense as I had to make it happen, rather than back in nyc with  Phil shouting out commands and having us doing drills etc in precise sequence.  So I strapped myself into a newly purchased pair of ridiculous looking muay thai shorts from the factory that is right next door (which say 'USA' on the crotch, putting additional pressure on myself) and rolled on up to the trainign area. 

 

The training area consists of about 4 boxing rings and some heavy bags (covered by a roof from the scorching heat, mercifully) and 20-30 thai fighters with 0% body fat.  I didn't have a clue what to do then, but thankfully one of my fellow campers directed me to a smaller kid who spoke some english named "Ruck" (last name = sack? unsure, the thai fighters have real names and nicknames too) and we preceded to a go a few rounds with him holding the pads.  Predictably I was quite rusty but I didn't embarass myself too badly (save when I tried to jump over the top rope at the urging of 'Mitt" and promptly fell on my ass in front of everybody).  And that was it after about 30 minutes, far less grueling than the average NYC class, which is good since I'm starting slow.

 

The following will interest only me, but i'm writing it anyway.  The way they do things here is unsurprisingly very different from the way I was taught back in NYC by Phil and the gang.  Phil, being a former boxer from Manchester, taught us in a more boxing oriented way, so I've got a few boxing habits with regard to footwork, distance, etc. the Thais care more about the kicks than the punches.  They're also willing to take more risks and lean in, simply because they're used to getting bashed in the head and just don't give a rat's ass.  So unlearning may be the biggest problem for me.

 

The other big problem is lack of sufficient options during the downtime, since we're a ways away from central Bangkok.  There's a few really bad magazines (eg the Aussie version of "FHM") lying around the living area (which is a dump, btw). Also there's some bad books.  Yesterday out of sheer boredom, I forced myself through a copy of Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" that was lying around, with the expectation that it couldn't be quite as mediocre as the Da Vinci Code.  Of course, it was.    Generally when I read a piece of crap like this I root for the bad guy, but he never wins, so I'm doubly disappointed.  Obviously this stupid Robert Langdon character is Brownie's idealized self-manifestation.  He must suffer from low self esteem if he wants to resemble that loser.  Dan Brown always puts a bunch of "FACT"s before the prologue of his book.  I suggest he include the following from now on "Fact: This book will contain stupendous cliches and plot contrivances"  "Fact: the dialogue in this book is so stilted and unnatural  as to explain basic concepts to the masses that it is nearly unreadable'  "Fact: the female heroine will be a ravishing beauty with brains, and Robert Langdon will "unexpectedly" get the girl at the end, using every hackneyed romantic incident possible" "Fact: I am going to sell 8 zillion copies despite the fact that this is trash"   Generally I think that all mass-market paperback authors should be kicked in the head by Ruck, en masse, but that's another story.