End of the Line
Varkala, Kerala, India
So I'm here at the bottom left corner of the subcontinent on the cliffs overlooking the Arabian Sea by way of Cochin, Alleppy and Kollom. The rest of Cochin was rainy and uneventful, though I did get to take in shows of Kerala's two major art forms Kathakali and Kalarappia (sp?). Kathakali is sort of like Keralan opera, with elaborate make up and costumes. As the actors don't speak or sing and communicate with eye movements and mudras (hand positions), it's theoretically understandable by westerners, however the mudra for "Welcome, exalted and honored guest" is pretty much indistinguishable from the one that says "bitch you better bring me a chicken sandwich!". Fortunately, Kathakali plots are the same as that of nearly all Indian mythology (hero/heroine slays demon/demoness) so it's not that hard to follow. Kalarappia is south Indian martial arts, which was fairly straightforward and faintly embarrassing as I was the only person in the audience for the show. While it wasn't that impressive, I wouldn't want to knife or stick fight any of those guys, even though the chubby stick fighter guy bore a resemblance to the Star Wars Kid.
On the way out of Kochin (via Kerala's awful bus service, by far the worst in India that I've seen. Getting on a bus in Kerala is accomplished by running alongside the bus as it pulls into the station and then shoving your way through the door as people enter and exit) I stopped in Alleppy, aka the Venice of East and major entry/exit point for Kerala's famous backwaters. Venice of the West has little to fear from Alleppy, sad to say. From Alleppy I took the all-day backwater ferry to Kollom, which some of the tour books crap on as lousy but which I didn't find so bad, although there were only two other tourists on the boat (a parisian lawyer with a ridiculous pepe le pew accent, and a Londoner of Indian descent, also with an absurd etonian accent - I could listen to him say mosquito or mojito all day long). Not a lot to see on the boat aside from various fishing vessels going about their business and palm trees, as well as some fantastic bird life, with literally thousands of fishing eagles, but very relaxing even if you don't have a lot to relax from.
So now I'm in Varkala, as I said before, on the shore of the Arabian sea. It's a beach town although the beach and the water isn't so pleasant. It's visibly violent and angry and features a nasty undertow and riptide that has sent some to a watery grave, so swimming past knee deep water is not advisable and really not much fun. The food is really good, though, the best damned calamari I've ever had, especially the calamari curry, which really works.
Speaking of unfun, I can't think of a place that makes drinking as unfun as India. Fisrt, the selection of liquor is either (lukewarm) Kingfisher ("The King of Good Times", "A Taste Most Thrilling!" (of which it is neither)) or Indian Made Foreign Liquor due to absurd import taxes. Second, your liklihood of getting some of these beverages (which are relatiely expensive in Indian terms) varies considerably. More often than not, restaraunts are unlicensed and won't sell it to you (perhaps because "ALCOHOL RUINS COUNTRY, FAMILY, AND LIFE!" as the Tamil Nadu bottles helpfuly warn us), and even if they will, they won't do so on dry days, (Thursdays, and various other days at unpredictable intervals). The worst of all possible options is an Indian bar, which is actually a stuffy dimly lit room full of chainsmoking guys in Lungies drinking cheap whiskey - enough to turn one off drinking forever. Here in Varkala it flows a bit more freely being a resort town, though still unlicensed so it's available either in a teapot, or under the table. And when I say "under the table", I mean it is literally served in a bottle that you have to keep under the table so the cops don't see it.
So I'm here at the bottom left corner of the subcontinent on the cliffs overlooking the Arabian Sea by way of Cochin, Alleppy and Kollom. The rest of Cochin was rainy and uneventful, though I did get to take in shows of Kerala's two major art forms Kathakali and Kalarappia (sp?). Kathakali is sort of like Keralan opera, with elaborate make up and costumes. As the actors don't speak or sing and communicate with eye movements and mudras (hand positions), it's theoretically understandable by westerners, however the mudra for "Welcome, exalted and honored guest" is pretty much indistinguishable from the one that says "bitch you better bring me a chicken sandwich!". Fortunately, Kathakali plots are the same as that of nearly all Indian mythology (hero/heroine slays demon/demoness) so it's not that hard to follow. Kalarappia is south Indian martial arts, which was fairly straightforward and faintly embarrassing as I was the only person in the audience for the show. While it wasn't that impressive, I wouldn't want to knife or stick fight any of those guys, even though the chubby stick fighter guy bore a resemblance to the Star Wars Kid.
On the way out of Kochin (via Kerala's awful bus service, by far the worst in India that I've seen. Getting on a bus in Kerala is accomplished by running alongside the bus as it pulls into the station and then shoving your way through the door as people enter and exit) I stopped in Alleppy, aka the Venice of East and major entry/exit point for Kerala's famous backwaters. Venice of the West has little to fear from Alleppy, sad to say. From Alleppy I took the all-day backwater ferry to Kollom, which some of the tour books crap on as lousy but which I didn't find so bad, although there were only two other tourists on the boat (a parisian lawyer with a ridiculous pepe le pew accent, and a Londoner of Indian descent, also with an absurd etonian accent - I could listen to him say mosquito or mojito all day long). Not a lot to see on the boat aside from various fishing vessels going about their business and palm trees, as well as some fantastic bird life, with literally thousands of fishing eagles, but very relaxing even if you don't have a lot to relax from.
So now I'm in Varkala, as I said before, on the shore of the Arabian sea. It's a beach town although the beach and the water isn't so pleasant. It's visibly violent and angry and features a nasty undertow and riptide that has sent some to a watery grave, so swimming past knee deep water is not advisable and really not much fun. The food is really good, though, the best damned calamari I've ever had, especially the calamari curry, which really works.
Speaking of unfun, I can't think of a place that makes drinking as unfun as India. Fisrt, the selection of liquor is either (lukewarm) Kingfisher ("The King of Good Times", "A Taste Most Thrilling!" (of which it is neither)) or Indian Made Foreign Liquor due to absurd import taxes. Second, your liklihood of getting some of these beverages (which are relatiely expensive in Indian terms) varies considerably. More often than not, restaraunts are unlicensed and won't sell it to you (perhaps because "ALCOHOL RUINS COUNTRY, FAMILY, AND LIFE!" as the Tamil Nadu bottles helpfuly warn us), and even if they will, they won't do so on dry days, (Thursdays, and various other days at unpredictable intervals). The worst of all possible options is an Indian bar, which is actually a stuffy dimly lit room full of chainsmoking guys in Lungies drinking cheap whiskey - enough to turn one off drinking forever. Here in Varkala it flows a bit more freely being a resort town, though still unlicensed so it's available either in a teapot, or under the table. And when I say "under the table", I mean it is literally served in a bottle that you have to keep under the table so the cops don't see it.
posted by Miguel V | 2:48 PM
2 Comments:
Mig,
I guess it was just wishful thinking to picture my Manhattan-living son sitting contentedly in half-lotus while sipping a cool glass of Badam...But watch my fingers as I sign the well worn mudra of Indian mothers-of- lawyers. Translation: "Watch your language for Shiva's sake!"
Nemaste,
Mom
,
Dude. You NEED to come back stat. Football is here, and nobody else wants to sit at a bar all day, drink beer and eat wings. I'm lost without you. If it'll make you feel better, I'll keep the pitcher under the table.
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